Thursday, December 14, 2017

Star Wars Episode VIII... yep Luke is still a lil bitch

Spoiler Alert... there are no spoilers

No... you're not
Nope... I just decided to give some quick thoughts today in advance of the new Star Wars movie coming out tonight. Look, I love Star Wars, I always have, I always will. I have to be honest though,  I loathe the character of Luke Skywalker; and now I have to deal with his punk ass on the screen again. 

Seriously he's just a weak ass Jedi. Pretty sure the Force skipped a generation with him. His Jedi claim to fame is levitating Goldenrod above a bunch of pint-sized Furries. I mean what else has Luke done that's impressed with his Jedi skills? Nada, zilch, not a motherfucking thing.

Furries... cute, until they bring out the butt plugs

FFS... Dooku at least could use his skills with the Force to swing bolted down, industrial sized metal containers off a rock wall. Palpatine used that shit to swing those floatie seats around in the Senate chamber and knocked Yoda off his ass. (Hey Luke, it's okay little buddy, here's a nice Jedi participation ribbon for trying)

He whines about EVERY damn thing, see "I can't face him again" from Episode VI, like a teenage girl who missed getting tickets for a Zayn concert. Don't get me started on his saber wielding skills. I mean it's probably a good thing that Dad wiped out all the Padawan learners, as I'm sure one of em would have "accidentally" killed Luke in a training accident. If not one of them, then you know Mace Windu would have done it, in order to save the Jedi council any bad press with the Galactic Senate.

Seriously, you know both Obi Wan and Yoda are second guessing their decision in the Force "after life" to train Luke over his sister. (Apparently male misogyny is alive and well in a galaxy far, far away) Now Princess Leia? Total bad ass... she was still a teenage girl when she set out to lead the Rebellion and basically told Vader to go fuck himself in episode IV. (Granted that led to about 7 billion deaths on Alderaan... but hey, a girl can only put up with so much macho posturing, even from dear old Dad) My girl has the stones to do what needs being done in a Rebellion, which Luke apparently doesn't or at least whose stones never dropped.

At least Han went out like a man. Sacrificing himself, because he believed he was saving and helping his son, Rylo, become a better Sith. #Dad #ParentingAintEasy #Scoundrel So yeah, Kylo is a little rough around the edges;but for chessus sake, his supposed Master abandoned him to run away and hide. Did Kylo break down and abandon his training? Nope... he manned up, trained himself without a Sith Lord or Jedi Master, and made his own sweet ass lightsaber; complete with a questionable, if not dangerous dual saber guard. #notanengineer #ohmywrist #thatsgonnaleaveamark

What Rey is thinking going to Luke for help, IDFK... talk about working with a handicap. I'm pretty sure about 20 mins into the movie, we're going to see Rey be like: "Fuck this old dude. His Force skills are for shit & I bet he likes Zayn. I'm going back to Jakku and finding a cantina!".

I can't EVEN with this bitch... fuck the Rebellion
Even R2-D2 didn't go with Luke to that water world he hides out on; which on the surface has better amenities and conditions than Dagobah... but the reason Yoda chose Dagobah, was because he knew that no one would come looking for him on that shit-tastic swamp of a planet. Again, classic case of our little bitch friend, Luke, taking the easy route; and shocker... he got found! (DUDE, YOU SO FUCKING SUCK) Anyway, I digressed there. What was I saying? Oh yeah... R2 just shut himself the fuck down and gave Luke a big ole 404 - Not Found error. (The fact it took him so long to re-boot is a Windows 10 issue I'm guessing)

So to all the Star Wars friends, May the Force be with you.
I REALLY hope Luke dies in this one. 



Tuesday, September 26, 2017

What Else... the NFL Part 2

Again… coming in hot… just like this Fall day.  
Back tracking to yesterday… I received some feedback on what I wrote. To be honest, it was 50/50 mixed bag. So after some additional pondering and input from some friends, let's add to what I wrote. An evolution if you will. People, things and feelings change. It's not easy, if it was, it wouldn't be called progress.
The NFL and the Anthem ---
This isn’t about people being disrespectful to the military or Veterans. Protesting has always been a constitutionally protected right through peaceful demonstration. The demonstration or protest is against racial inequality.
“Kaepernick used a strong vehicle to voice being against police brutality and the killing of unarmed blacks. If it divided the nation even more, it was truly a wakeup call to the division that hidden and now right in front of us. Regardless of what FS Key meant when he wrote the anthem, and regardless of what the flag stood for back then, until people of color can truly feel equal, this will not go will take ALL of us to admit all wrongs, not just white ones, not just black ones, not just native American ones, or any other ones, but ALL...and that may not happen in our life time, or until Jesus return.”
“So much has been exposed of the accomplishments of blacks that they did not get credit for. Ok, give us credit and fix it, so we can move on! There are many great things that whites did, ok, take the credit and move on! If only it was that easy....can you imagine the work and time it would take to rewire our thinking? Blacks are not exempt in their actions either. They have the power to change, as a people, but there passive racism within even our own! Ridiculous, isn't it?”
~Dawn D. --- Mom, Friend, Veteran, Preacher’s wife, Strong, black woman.
My friend, Dawn is amazing. She once sang the National Anthem at a nationally televised NFL game years ago. (I can’t say how many years ago though, because she’d hit me with her old lady purse) She did this, even though she already knew then what the anthem was about. She did it because she had pride and honor in her and her fellow Veteran’s service.
This is why the anthem issue is so hard for many of us Veterans. It’s not about the rights of people to protest. It’s that these protests happen in a moment where all, are supposed to be honoring ours/their friend, relatives, and Brothers/Sisters in Arms. When athletes are choosing to use that sacred moment, in order to demonstrate, it is hurtful to us in uniform.
I’m being told from my friend Clint S., it may have something to do with evolution… specifically the: Amygdala  

The other reason it is hard to swallow now, is the fact that prior to this weekend… only a handful of players had taken a knee to protest racial inequality. Two days ago, almost the entire league did so.  Why? Was it because they were the President called them a bunch of “sons of bitches”; or because they genuinely felt this was the time to take a stand, along with those who’ve historically been racially discriminated against?
I honestly think many of them did take a knee or abstain from the Anthem because they felt "Hey, it's time. We can make an impact"; or they felt that they could finally d o so without repercussions. I also honestly think however that the NFL played a part. The league wanted to send a big, collective “fuck you” to the President after his remarks; and this was a perfect way to do so.


Can we fix it??...not until communities, people, rich and poor make an effort and get rid of racism in their hearts...

Racism is taught... soon as people stop teaching it then maybe things may slightly changes
But realistically no it’s never going to change as long as the rich keep getting richer and poor keep getting poorer and the middle class remain stagnant
And as long as our government remains evil, corrupted to the core and not giving a fuck about its citizens things will not change...

~ Steven H. --- Dad, Friend, Raider Fan, Strong Black Man

My guy, Steve, is a honest, hard working guy. We met years ago through work and I can honestly say he is one of my best friends. (Setting aside that he is a Raider fan) More importantly he has, along with Dawn, experienced racism first hand in a way I never would... that is to say because I'm white and treated differently by both police and a patriarchal society. That isn't something I can do much about it... other than to not abuse that privilege, make sure my friends are protected, and in genral be a good person.
The divide in America is strong… he knows it, Dawn knows it, I know it. All of us know it. The problem is with education and economics. It will only get better when all people admit the failings and truths of the past (good and bad). This holds true even if that means that for some we will to re-learn and accept some harsh truths about ourselves and our ancestors. Nobody should expect perfection, as none of us our perfect beings.

We as a Nation honestly can’t right the wrongs done in the past, as those mistakes have already been made. All we can do is to learn from those mistakes and move forward. We each have to stand up and stop blaming each other. We have to empower each other as equals, regardless of race; so that the Founding Father’s intent of equal rights for all is fully realized.

Monday, September 25, 2017

Because what else... the NFL

Coming in hot today. No preambles or "hi, how are you" today... because fuck it, I'm done with this.

§301. National anthem (a) Designation.-The composition consisting of the words and music known as the Star-Spangled Banner is the national anthem. (b) Conduct During Playing.-During a rendition of the national anthem- (1) when the flag is displayed- (A) individuals in uniform should give the military salute at the first note of the anthem and maintain that position until the last note; (B) members of the Armed Forces and veterans who are present but not in uniform may render the military salute in the manner provided for individuals in uniform; and (C) all other persons present should face the flag and stand at attention with their right hand over the heart, and men not in uniform, if applicable, should remove their headdress with their right hand and hold it at the left shoulder, the hand being over the heart; and (2) when the flag is not displayed, all present should face toward the music and act in the same manner they would if the flag were displayed.

It says to stand the fuck up... period. One would assume if someone does not stand-up, it is reasonable to assume that they're guilty of breaking US Code (the law)

Now here is the tricky part... The 1st Amendment or the 1st Article of the Bill of Rights, which includes or discusses the right to free speech, along with religion, petition and assemble.

Is silence the same as free speech? (and oh by the way, it totally doesn't mean you can say anything you want. It doesn't cover profanity or defamation of a person/people... like calling a group of people "sons of bitches".) Anyway, I digressed. So again I ask:

In order to be heard, is a group or person's silence the same as free speech?
Is expression a form of protected speech?
Is kneeling a form of expression?
If the above is all true, why in the wide, wide, world of sports is there a US law which contradicts a basic right of the 1st Amendment?

I thought I knew what my opinion on this subject was, when I posted a clever little meme on Facebook last week... but now, I just don't know. The playing of the National Anthem (at least now and at sporting events) is to done to honor service members both alive and dead, who've guaranteed through their service contracts or with their lives, the freedoms and rights we all enjoy. Yes, the playing of the National Anthem started when the Department of Defense gave a lot of money to the NFL.... but still it's not a bad thing. It is something we should be doing. Honoring our Vets should never be called in to question by a citizen of this nation. While I can say without doubt that kneeling is not something I would do, or will ever do... (That will never change) I'm not so sure, or as sure as I was last week, that the 1st amendment gives people the right to protest in this current form. I know lots of people who think they're constitutional scholars, but that's not the same as a ruling from SCOTUS. If any of you know of specific rulings, as it pertains to protected speech/silence... etc., please share, because I'm listening and facts influence me, as they should all of us.

I know what the kneeling in silence or standing in a tunnel out of sight is being done. Players are doing it to call to attention racial inequality, as it pertains to police brutality and profiling... at least that's why it started. Now it seems the "protest" is being done to call to attention the racial divide that still exists. My thought is that this is due to the "racist lines" of the anthem.

O say can you see, by the dawn's early light, What so proudly we hail'd at the twilight's last gleaming, Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight O'er the ramparts we watch'd were so gallantly streaming? And the rocket's red glare, the bomb bursting in air, Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there, O say does that star-spangled banner yet wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
On the shore dimly seen through the mists of the deep Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes, What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep, As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses? Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam, In full glory reflected now shines in the stream, 'Tis the star-spangled banner - O long may it wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
And where is that band who so vauntingly swore, That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion A home and a Country should leave us no more? Their blood has wash'd out their foul footstep's pollution. No refuge could save the hireling and slave From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave, And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.
O thus be it ever when freemen shall stand Between their lov'd home and the war's desolation! Blest with vict'ry and peace may the heav'n rescued land Praise the power that hath made and preserv'd us a nation! Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just, And this be our motto - "In God is our trust," And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.
Per Wiki... "The Star-Spangled Banner" is the national anthem of the United States of America. The lyrics come from "Defence of Fort M'Henry", a poem written on September 14, 1814, by the 35-year-old lawyer and amateur poet Francis Scott Key after witnessing the bombardment of Fort McHenry by British ships of the Royal Navy in Baltimore Harbor during the Battle of Baltimore in the War of 1812. Key was inspired by the large American flag, the Star-Spangled Banner, flying triumphantly above the fort during the American victory.

Key was a lawyer, who was a slave owner, and yes there are words which reference slaves and freemen. While I don't believe he was specifically celebrating slavery in this instance, that's just my opinion. Slavery was the normal at that time. While we know better... it doesn't change the fact that slavery was the norm,which was accepted by whites for the first 100 years in our Nations history. The next 100 were spent ensuring the same rights for blacks as whites. The last 50... well it's difficult to say. Something positive? President Obama. A black man in the White House. Progress is awesome!
Something negative? The continuing lack of educational opportunities and disproportionate incarceration rates for young black men... because weed.

Take weed and minor drug convictions off the table... crime stats of who/what gets done to how doesn't really favor one demographic over another.

I'm tired.
I'm tired of defending my views.
I'm tired of defending other's views.
I'm tired of friends fighting.
I'm tired of families fighting.

Change comes with talking; and more importantly LISTENING. When there are civil tongues and civil discussion... it's much easier to make decisions and implement legislation on what's best for everyone, when people are listening to one another.


P.S. Also... please tell your friends to stop using the stupid flag etiquette clothing meme. The US code references flags. Flags, not apparel to be worn to cover our naked asses. In other words:

You or I can wear a garment with a flag or even a clothing piece designed to be look like a flag...
You or I just can't wear an actual flag as a piece of clothing.

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Agree to disagree, how we can get the fuck along

Hello World, it’s me Munch!

I want to conduct an experiment. Ready? Good. Close your eyes. I’m going to ask you a question. Have you ever disagreed with anyone? What came first, the chicken or the egg? Who wore it better, Kim or Kanye? Yes, of course you’ve disagreed with someone. It’s natural, because we are all unique with individual opinions, likes, and dislikes.

We agree to the same ideas, but have unique reasons for doing so. For example, Bob and Tom both support the 2nd Amendment. Bob does so because he hunts. He hunts to provide food for his family and save money. Tom supports the 2nd Amendment because he believes in his right to protect his home and family. Agreeing to the same idea or cause, but for different reasons.

I used a strong example there, because it leads me to what I’m seeing with people, politics, and disagreements. Let me tell you… social fricking media. If you don’t have the FB or Twitter… don’t go getting it now. Social media has become an even worse “swamp” than the one in D.C., because people have turned into stark raving lunatics on both sides. Quite honestly… what the actual fuck people? We’re in need of a new feature on social media called the GMI: Grandma Monitoring Interface.
Grandma's.. aren't they the cutest?  

What Grandma’s interface will do, is ensure that comments are appropriate and passes the Grandma test. Is this something you would say to a fellow human being in front of your Grandma? No? Algorithms will then prevent your comment from posting and suggest instead a sane “Would you like to instead” response. Some examples include:

When someone types a response via comment that states: “U ignerant fucktard lebral snowflake” (misspelled intentionally… because well you’ve been on Facebook), the algorithm will pick up on that and suggest instead: “You seem to be having difficulty with my conservative opinion. While I respect your individual right to an opinion of big government, please respect my opinion for smaller government and my right to live free”


When someone types a response via comment that states: “You are a grossly, misinformed, misogynist, pig; who uses the Bible to propagate hate”, the algorithm will pick up on that and suggest: “I see you love Jesus. Let me assure you, that I too love Jesus and believe in his teachings whereby he commanded me to love my fellow man with no asterisks. May the Peace of the Lord be with you always.”  

See? The same thing was said, but in non-hateful way. A civil debate/discussion can still take place between the two people, to find the best solution to a problem. My friends, that is what it supposed to happen in Congress and is currently not. Congress has implemented an extreme “Yes or No, we’ve got the majority” method of legislating. At this point, it’s not hard for me to see why. “We the People”, can’t stop bullying and threating one another over a keyboard long enough; to see how our Government, which is supposed to be ours, is fucking us over.  

And this is my biggest problem with America right now. How we treat each other and the things we are saying is more shameful IMO than how politicians are acting. We hide behind our internet profiles and spew hatred to one another, calling each other names and fighting about who’s right and who’s wrong in all of this. Newsflash… we all share some blame. Things will only get better when we truly stop, take a deep breath and say: “You know what? No more. I will not hate my neighbor today because he is different. I will instead embrace her because she is different and learn how we can be stronger together” 
It's not that time. Be Nice 

Since I’m on a roll today, let me share some additional thoughts:

It is our 1st Amendment right to peacefully assemble and protest. That right does not guarantee you the right to act like an asshole and impede upon the rights of others to move through traffic safely. (whether it be in a car or on a sidewalk)
If you get gassed by the police, because you are doing so… too fucking bad, you deserve it.

White Privilege
If you don’t understand it, newsflash… you have it

Yes, they existed. No, they were not immigrants or volunteers… no matter what Ben Carson or the textbooks written in Texas tell you.

The Gay Agenda
Newsflash… Agendas are for meetings. Gay folk, or as I like to call them: People… aren’t having secret meetings to develop gay conversion serums, in order to make America Fabulous. There is no agenda, just stop. Some people are just gay, please just get over it. (But if someone does tell you they are gay… realize what a moment that is. Say something positive like “That’s awesome bro, but it's still your turn to take out the trash”

Transgender people in the bathrooms
Seriously I don’t know why this is even an issue. Ahem… everybody pees. Biological fact. If you’re checking out genitalia of others in the bathroom, you’re the sick one. (You’re probably also gay, which is okay... but I’m still gonna need you to take out that trash) Still though, there is not a documented case of an actual trans person attacking someone in the bathroom.

yep... everyone. some are even full of it!

Criminals, yes… trans people, no. Do you really think that a criminal is going to perpetrate a crime, whereby he knows that if he caught that he is going to the pokey dressed as a woman? Also, let’s be realistic here. If you’re going to sexually assault someone, a pair of pantyhose probably aren’t the best thing to wear… just saying. If you don’t believe me, try a pair. Seriously, I’ll wait. Wait a good hour or two after you’ve been sweating in them and try to get them off in a hurry. Now try to do that while trying to sexually assault someone who is fighting you.

Agree? Disagree? Comment. Keep it civil. I love being wrong when someone teaches me something new, almost as much as I love being right.


Thursday, November 10, 2016

Moving Forward with Hope. We the People.

The 2016 Presidential election has passed and with a twist that many didn’t see coming: Republican Presidential nominee Donald J Trump won the White House. For sure, there will be the pundits and the die hard, Democratic supporters who say Hillary Clinton won the popular vote and she should be the winner. Shades of the 2000 election abound, but in the end… it really doesn’t matter. We have an Electoral College and until such a time that the Electoral College is abolished… the popular vote is not how the President and VP are chosen. We the voters only indirectly elect the President. The Electorates of each state will elect the candidate come Dec 19th  and yes, the candidate elected will be Donald Trump.

None of us knows what is going to happen going forward and this post isn't about what the President Elect will do or who he will piss off. It's about us... you & I; and what we as a nation need to do to right our ship. With that out of the way… how do we proceed?

First thing is first… We all need to respect the Office of the Presidency. Donald Trump is the President Elect, he was elected and won in a fair process.  Time and again throughout President Obama’s administration, all of us saw the racist comments on Facebook or in the Media. For some of us, myself included, it angered me to no end. Kenya baby… O-Bammie… Obama Hussein… The Monkey in the White House… and let’s not forget the supreme mother of all insults to a black man or woman: “Nigger”.

“He’s not my President” or "I didn't vote for him, so I'm not supporting him", many declared. True, you may not have voted for him or even like that he is your President; but as the office holder of Presidency of the United States… he is the top public elected servant for ALL Americans. The same applies now. I may not have voted for Donald Trump, but he will be this nation’s President come January 20th, 2017 and as President, he will be entitled to the respect that the office commands. The violence we are seeing at protests is not going to accomplish anything or move us forward as a nation. Right now, more than anything… this nation needs healing and unity. Protesting and assembling peacefully? Yes, protected by the 1st Amendment. Protesting and inciting violence against others? Not protected.    

The 2nd thing we need to do…. Embrace our neighbors & love them. This includes any of you on the  Christian right as well; who need to hug and love their bleeding heart, tree hugging, Liberal friends. If you don’t understand why, may I suggest you go back to the Good Book and check out John 15:17… go ahead, we’ll wait until you get back.

Hi there, welcome back! We’re on the same page now, right? You saw that there were no caveats to what he said, am I right? Good Deal. Moving on…

Now one thing Trump did do this election cycle, was to show us how bad America has gotten with regards to how Americans treat each other. Not directly of course, but through the fallout of his behavior and speeches. We now see that racism, homophobia and misogyny is still alive and doing fairly well.

Not all of us, dare I say most of us,  share these behaviors and attitudes. Donald Trump indirectly however has forced us to see and admit these problems. How do we fix this? I honestly don’t know, but I do know one of the steps is going to be embracing one another. It’s not a physical action you understand, but the concept of accepting people for who they are, even when we don’t know or understand what that may be.

3rd… This election cycle has made enemies of friends. Words spoken cannot be taken back, but we CAN  move forward together.  How do I know we can? Because this election cycle has proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that “We the People” are fed up. Donald Trump wasn’t elected for his policies as much, as he was because so many Americans are pissed and wanted to say “Fuck you!” to the establishment, whose been fuckin’ things up for us.  

We the People are tired of politics in DC. We the People are tired of the last hour backroom, power deals. We the People are fed up with lobbyists. We the People are fed up with the men and women that we sent to represent our will, not doing their damn jobs*.  (jobs*- see also taxes, economy, immigration, etc.)

We the People want our country fixed… because when our house is in order, we will be the best. Other countries will again look to us again, as a shining beacon and aspire to be like us. Politics isn’t a once a year or every fours civic duty, folks. It’s a constant duty for us all. Be involved. Write, e-mail or call your elected officials and make your voice heard;  because if you aren’t… then you aren’t doing your part to self govern and you don’t get to complain when the government isn’t working.  

The only way that “We the People” can govern… is if in fact we are actively doing so.   


Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Filler... getting back in the Writing Saddle or trying

Disclaimer... there are no revelations or anything super funny in this post. It's mostly just filler to see if I can still tell a story in a humorous way and hold your attention long enough, so if you're bored at the end, don't say you weren't warned.

I'm gonna need you to remove the sand from your vagina...

Doctor's appointments were the staple of the day yesterday. Not for me mind you... I'm as healthy as a horse. This makes it difficult for me to accompany people, because I can be like this guy....

Do you see this glass wall and my
look of condescension?
Appointment one was for Ms. Munch and it was 
scheduled for 1:25... we got back to the room at 1:50 and the doctor strolled in about 2:00. Fortunately however, I realize that shit happens. Doctors can run late for a variety of reasons. It was nice of the nurse to tell us that the doctor was running late when we got back to the room and why. It would have been nicer to hear that however, when we checked in and we were cooling our heels waiting for an extra half hour. I'm talking to you Ms. Receptionist... who takes names; makes copies of drivers' licenses and insurance cards; and generally acts as Gatekeepers. 

Congratulations... it's going to rip you apart

Anyway, we were there to meet with the physician who performed her diastasis / hernia repair two years ago. Our concern obviously being "Hey, you fucked this up... we're gonna need you to fix this. And oh by the way, we don't think it's fair we have to pay for your mistake."

Two things... #1) We're totally still gonna have to pay for it, because #2) it's apparently a new baby alien (diastasis/hernia) as it's not in the same spot, as he so confidently concluded by poking around with his fingers and concluding the new trouble area is 2 centimeters from where where it was at before. Long story short... Ms. Munch has to go back under the knife.

Because I'm the Wizard, bitch!

Appointment two was for Mini, which should have been an easy, peasy visit. Haaaaa.... not so fast my friend. This was his first time meeting the new family doctor, which means a total recitation of family medical history. Seriously, is there a reason I have to do this? I gave you my history at my last appointment and my wife told you hers, at her last appointment. According to science, her and I's kids are gonna have the same history Mr. Wizard.

In addition to that fun, it was the first visit where I got kicked out of the room... wait, what? I guess this is the age where we as parents get kicked out so the doctors can ask all the important questions like: "Are you using drugs? Just don't" and "Are you having sex? Use protection". Hey Doc, the walls are thin... you may want to use your indoor voice, just saying. I also discovered during this visit is that Mini is officially 5'10 and has officially surpassed me height wise. While it's not the end or the world... there is certainly a feeling of sadness.

The Book of Mini. Free for
Amazon Prime members.
As new fathers, we want our sons to grow up to be big and strong. Things that will enable them to protect themselves, protect others and attract a mate. However, when you realize they've grown up physically and there is less time than there was before to teach them all things that you thought there was plenty of time to do so... that's a moment. It's a moment in which I realized that that there is a new chapter due in the Book of Mini. A new chapter in a book that Mini's Mom and I will no longer write alone, but will co-author with him as he navigates being a young adult... until such a time he grows into manhood and writes his own stories.


Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Fashion Faux Pas Fridays - The 2016 Grammy Edition

Are you there readers, it's me Munch. It's been a long time, been a long time, been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time without me. I'm sorry, deal. Life and schizz.

Okay, so that's an exaggeration, however its been a long fuckin' time since I did a post and accordingly you should be patient and forgiving because writing and posting pictures is hard.

Anyway... here I am... back in the saddle for a special Grammys edition. Who doesn't love Red Carpet events? Our favorite artists decked out and resplendent in designer garb that the rest of us won't ever be able to afford; and adorned with jewelry on loan because who in the fuck buys million dollar necklaces anyway?

The Grammys are fun because we get to see artists do their best Derek Zoolander "Blue Steel" impressions. It's also not as formal as the Oscars, so people can take chances and wear something "edgy". Sometimes the edge works and sometimes it fails... spectacularly. (My favorite)

Unfortunately, there wasn't a lot of bad decisions made last evening. Folks upped their fashion game... hell, even the Grammys themselves were better than usual and featured live singing.

Evening trends....

High slits - Hit or a miss. (Hint: if the slit hits your pelvic bone, it's juuuuust a bit too high)     
Peekaboo cut-outs - Also a hit or miss (Dangerous, cause angles and lighting and holy shit, does she have four boobs?)  
Women in men's tuxedo jackets sans brasseries <---- Hot AF... Yes!!!!
Men without socks... fucking stop it. You're grown ass men. Dress like it.

It's a before and after lesson in age appropriate fashion. (E.g. what you can wear in your 20's vs what you can wear in your 40's) That being said they both looked amazing in those colors.


One, two, three they gonna run away from me
'Cause I'm the worst dressed that they ever did see
Dress's and the no, no, no's....


Hello from the Dark Side... 
I will not win E!'s fashion prize...


I'm oddly aroused by the Thai Lady Boy...
errr, nope that's just Zendaya sporting a mullet, in a tux. 


Did you know that the release party for Kacey Musgrave's "Pageant Material" album was done at a drag bar in Nashville, where the queens were dressed as pageant girls? Kacey would have been wise to listen to them about hair, make-up and even borrowed a dress... cause this... I don't know what arrow she was following.

you betta werk!
Speaking of queens... do you know why they love Gaga? Look at the those heels... it's called respect  

in full disclosure, I do love the new new locks
Shoulder Pads... YES!!!!
Alexis Carrington is that you?

Okay... it's a St Patrick's day wedding dress with Fatal Attraction accessories? 

Alright, I could do this all day... but I unfortunately have a job... which pays me to work. My worst and best dressed winner selections for you people. And by people, I mean Twin, cause she is the only one who will read or care about this ridiculous post.



Carrie Underwood
Black can be hard to pull off and make a statement on the Red Carpet, however she owned that place last night. Hair, jewelry, the ruching and fabric of the dress... the slit was the perfect height. As close to perfect as you can get.



Florence Welch
According to E!, she is some kind of fashion expert and she is a whimsical, free spirit type and this is the perfect type of dress for her, which no one else could pull off.

To which I say...

Really??? That's what you're going with???

I think not... get your shit together Florence.

Until next time peeps...