Thursday, November 10, 2016

Moving Forward with Hope. We the People.

The 2016 Presidential election has passed and with a twist that many didn’t see coming: Republican Presidential nominee Donald J Trump won the White House. For sure, there will be the pundits and the die hard, Democratic supporters who say Hillary Clinton won the popular vote and she should be the winner. Shades of the 2000 election abound, but in the end… it really doesn’t matter. We have an Electoral College and until such a time that the Electoral College is abolished… the popular vote is not how the President and VP are chosen. We the voters only indirectly elect the President. The Electorates of each state will elect the candidate come Dec 19th  and yes, the candidate elected will be Donald Trump.

None of us knows what is going to happen going forward and this post isn't about what the President Elect will do or who he will piss off. It's about us... you & I; and what we as a nation need to do to right our ship. With that out of the way… how do we proceed?

First thing is first… We all need to respect the Office of the Presidency. Donald Trump is the President Elect, he was elected and won in a fair process.  Time and again throughout President Obama’s administration, all of us saw the racist comments on Facebook or in the Media. For some of us, myself included, it angered me to no end. Kenya baby… O-Bammie… Obama Hussein… The Monkey in the White House… and let’s not forget the supreme mother of all insults to a black man or woman: “Nigger”.

“He’s not my President” or "I didn't vote for him, so I'm not supporting him", many declared. True, you may not have voted for him or even like that he is your President; but as the office holder of Presidency of the United States… he is the top public elected servant for ALL Americans. The same applies now. I may not have voted for Donald Trump, but he will be this nation’s President come January 20th, 2017 and as President, he will be entitled to the respect that the office commands. The violence we are seeing at protests is not going to accomplish anything or move us forward as a nation. Right now, more than anything… this nation needs healing and unity. Protesting and assembling peacefully? Yes, protected by the 1st Amendment. Protesting and inciting violence against others? Not protected.    

The 2nd thing we need to do…. Embrace our neighbors & love them. This includes any of you on the  Christian right as well; who need to hug and love their bleeding heart, tree hugging, Liberal friends. If you don’t understand why, may I suggest you go back to the Good Book and check out John 15:17… go ahead, we’ll wait until you get back.

Hi there, welcome back! We’re on the same page now, right? You saw that there were no caveats to what he said, am I right? Good Deal. Moving on…

Now one thing Trump did do this election cycle, was to show us how bad America has gotten with regards to how Americans treat each other. Not directly of course, but through the fallout of his behavior and speeches. We now see that racism, homophobia and misogyny is still alive and doing fairly well.

Not all of us, dare I say most of us,  share these behaviors and attitudes. Donald Trump indirectly however has forced us to see and admit these problems. How do we fix this? I honestly don’t know, but I do know one of the steps is going to be embracing one another. It’s not a physical action you understand, but the concept of accepting people for who they are, even when we don’t know or understand what that may be.

3rd… This election cycle has made enemies of friends. Words spoken cannot be taken back, but we CAN  move forward together.  How do I know we can? Because this election cycle has proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that “We the People” are fed up. Donald Trump wasn’t elected for his policies as much, as he was because so many Americans are pissed and wanted to say “Fuck you!” to the establishment, whose been fuckin’ things up for us.  

We the People are tired of politics in DC. We the People are tired of the last hour backroom, power deals. We the People are fed up with lobbyists. We the People are fed up with the men and women that we sent to represent our will, not doing their damn jobs*.  (jobs*- see also taxes, economy, immigration, etc.)

We the People want our country fixed… because when our house is in order, we will be the best. Other countries will again look to us again, as a shining beacon and aspire to be like us. Politics isn’t a once a year or every fours civic duty, folks. It’s a constant duty for us all. Be involved. Write, e-mail or call your elected officials and make your voice heard;  because if you aren’t… then you aren’t doing your part to self govern and you don’t get to complain when the government isn’t working.  

The only way that “We the People” can govern… is if in fact we are actively doing so.   


Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Filler... getting back in the Writing Saddle or trying

Disclaimer... there are no revelations or anything super funny in this post. It's mostly just filler to see if I can still tell a story in a humorous way and hold your attention long enough, so if you're bored at the end, don't say you weren't warned.

I'm gonna need you to remove the sand from your vagina...

Doctor's appointments were the staple of the day yesterday. Not for me mind you... I'm as healthy as a horse. This makes it difficult for me to accompany people, because I can be like this guy....

Do you see this glass wall and my
look of condescension?
Appointment one was for Ms. Munch and it was 
scheduled for 1:25... we got back to the room at 1:50 and the doctor strolled in about 2:00. Fortunately however, I realize that shit happens. Doctors can run late for a variety of reasons. It was nice of the nurse to tell us that the doctor was running late when we got back to the room and why. It would have been nicer to hear that however, when we checked in and we were cooling our heels waiting for an extra half hour. I'm talking to you Ms. Receptionist... who takes names; makes copies of drivers' licenses and insurance cards; and generally acts as Gatekeepers. 

Congratulations... it's going to rip you apart

Anyway, we were there to meet with the physician who performed her diastasis / hernia repair two years ago. Our concern obviously being "Hey, you fucked this up... we're gonna need you to fix this. And oh by the way, we don't think it's fair we have to pay for your mistake."

Two things... #1) We're totally still gonna have to pay for it, because #2) it's apparently a new baby alien (diastasis/hernia) as it's not in the same spot, as he so confidently concluded by poking around with his fingers and concluding the new trouble area is 2 centimeters from where where it was at before. Long story short... Ms. Munch has to go back under the knife.

Because I'm the Wizard, bitch!

Appointment two was for Mini, which should have been an easy, peasy visit. Haaaaa.... not so fast my friend. This was his first time meeting the new family doctor, which means a total recitation of family medical history. Seriously, is there a reason I have to do this? I gave you my history at my last appointment and my wife told you hers, at her last appointment. According to science, her and I's kids are gonna have the same history Mr. Wizard.

In addition to that fun, it was the first visit where I got kicked out of the room... wait, what? I guess this is the age where we as parents get kicked out so the doctors can ask all the important questions like: "Are you using drugs? Just don't" and "Are you having sex? Use protection". Hey Doc, the walls are thin... you may want to use your indoor voice, just saying. I also discovered during this visit is that Mini is officially 5'10 and has officially surpassed me height wise. While it's not the end or the world... there is certainly a feeling of sadness.

The Book of Mini. Free for
Amazon Prime members.
As new fathers, we want our sons to grow up to be big and strong. Things that will enable them to protect themselves, protect others and attract a mate. However, when you realize they've grown up physically and there is less time than there was before to teach them all things that you thought there was plenty of time to do so... that's a moment. It's a moment in which I realized that that there is a new chapter due in the Book of Mini. A new chapter in a book that Mini's Mom and I will no longer write alone, but will co-author with him as he navigates being a young adult... until such a time he grows into manhood and writes his own stories.


Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Fashion Faux Pas Fridays - The 2016 Grammy Edition

Are you there readers, it's me Munch. It's been a long time, been a long time, been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time without me. I'm sorry, deal. Life and schizz.

Okay, so that's an exaggeration, however its been a long fuckin' time since I did a post and accordingly you should be patient and forgiving because writing and posting pictures is hard.

Anyway... here I am... back in the saddle for a special Grammys edition. Who doesn't love Red Carpet events? Our favorite artists decked out and resplendent in designer garb that the rest of us won't ever be able to afford; and adorned with jewelry on loan because who in the fuck buys million dollar necklaces anyway?

The Grammys are fun because we get to see artists do their best Derek Zoolander "Blue Steel" impressions. It's also not as formal as the Oscars, so people can take chances and wear something "edgy". Sometimes the edge works and sometimes it fails... spectacularly. (My favorite)

Unfortunately, there wasn't a lot of bad decisions made last evening. Folks upped their fashion game... hell, even the Grammys themselves were better than usual and featured live singing.

Evening trends....

High slits - Hit or a miss. (Hint: if the slit hits your pelvic bone, it's juuuuust a bit too high)     
Peekaboo cut-outs - Also a hit or miss (Dangerous, cause angles and lighting and holy shit, does she have four boobs?)  
Women in men's tuxedo jackets sans brasseries <---- Hot AF... Yes!!!!
Men without socks... fucking stop it. You're grown ass men. Dress like it.

It's a before and after lesson in age appropriate fashion. (E.g. what you can wear in your 20's vs what you can wear in your 40's) That being said they both looked amazing in those colors.


One, two, three they gonna run away from me
'Cause I'm the worst dressed that they ever did see
Dress's and the no, no, no's....


Hello from the Dark Side... 
I will not win E!'s fashion prize...


I'm oddly aroused by the Thai Lady Boy...
errr, nope that's just Zendaya sporting a mullet, in a tux. 


Did you know that the release party for Kacey Musgrave's "Pageant Material" album was done at a drag bar in Nashville, where the queens were dressed as pageant girls? Kacey would have been wise to listen to them about hair, make-up and even borrowed a dress... cause this... I don't know what arrow she was following.

you betta werk!
Speaking of queens... do you know why they love Gaga? Look at the those heels... it's called respect  

in full disclosure, I do love the new new locks
Shoulder Pads... YES!!!!
Alexis Carrington is that you?

Okay... it's a St Patrick's day wedding dress with Fatal Attraction accessories? 

Alright, I could do this all day... but I unfortunately have a job... which pays me to work. My worst and best dressed winner selections for you people. And by people, I mean Twin, cause she is the only one who will read or care about this ridiculous post.



Carrie Underwood
Black can be hard to pull off and make a statement on the Red Carpet, however she owned that place last night. Hair, jewelry, the ruching and fabric of the dress... the slit was the perfect height. As close to perfect as you can get.



Florence Welch
According to E!, she is some kind of fashion expert and she is a whimsical, free spirit type and this is the perfect type of dress for her, which no one else could pull off.

To which I say...

Really??? That's what you're going with???

I think not... get your shit together Florence.

Until next time peeps...