I traveled South this week to Hot'lanta, which I suspect may be a gateway to the inner circles of Hell. While some may suspect that I was offered the chance to see what the purgatory of Hell looks like, so that I may have a chance to redeem my wicked ways and lead a more pure and chaste life, that was not the case.
I was in Hot'lanta to see my not so little, (32) brother's graduation. Sean Patrick Collins. One of the 2011 graduates of Kennesaw State University. Sean, I can't begin to tell you how proud I am that you graduated from college and that you are going onto Law School in the fall. Your drive and ambitious nature WILL propel you to the top. I love ya Perry Mason. (even though you did what you did and you should go to Church and ask for forgiveness)
Some folks reading this blog may be a little confused at this point and may be asking
Reflecting in hindsight... these Collins kids are wrapped pretty tight and do not give trust easily. (With good reason) They have however always stood back to back looking out for each other and believe me when I say... these two are not to be trifled with, as they only put up with shit from the other.
That brings us to our shared commonality, our biological father: Patrick Lee Collins. Some people are really shitting their pants, as they had no clue that I was born David Lee Collins after my paternal Grandfather. I'm not going to lie... before going down South... I was nervous. Very nervous. I didn't know what to think about meeting a man that I had no recollection of and who hadn't seen me in 37 years.
What can I say about Pat or Pops as I've come to know him as? 48 hours in Hot'lanta really wasn't enough time to discover and uncover the total sum of his being. I'm glad we finally did meet though. I've always carried some baggage around about it. What did I discover? DNA is pretty powerful stuff. After meeting him, I can say that I do understand myself a little bit better, as he and I share traits. Some good and some not so good.
Pops is a good man. A man that is proud of his kids. A man I could see bursting with pride that one of his kids was graduating college. A man that was happy to have all of his kids together under one roof and getting along like brothers and sisters should. I hope we made him happy during this brief time together.
Pops is also pretty quick to react negatively or defensively. I can say that because I'm same way and I can recognize it when I see it. It's one of those not so good traits I mentioned before. He is also
Pops... if you are reading this and I hope you are... I'm grateful that we finally met. It resolved the "I wonder" that I felt and thought about for much of my life. If I may... I'd like to offer an observation and give a small bit of advise. You seem unhappy with your life, like you've given up on anything good happening to you. I understand that there is a bad past out there. Fair enough, but the past is the past. We can't live in it and we sure as hell can't change it. What we can do however is try to better ourselves.
If you are asking "Why?" Because you have three pretty good kids who care about you and want you to be happy. You also have four grandkids that although you don't know them very well, are going to go out in the world and make their mark. You have every reason to be proud of your family and to take joy in their accomplishments. Make that your happy place everyday and just enjoy life. I know there are physical limitations, but I'm sure there is something out there that would make you happy to do and to fill your time, while enjoying the Florida weather.
and those my friends, are the Musings of Munch for today.... out