Saturday, September 6, 2014

My Twin - The Mystery Revealed

Sisters. They're your first best friends. They're your first worst enemy.

I have four... two that I've been blessed to have in my life since I was five. One that was removed from my childhood when I was three and then reintroduced when I was sixteen-ish. The last one, I just met in the last five years. Different sisters with different personalities, different lives, and yet similar, in that they have me for a brother. Over time, I've made them extremely proud and extremely frustrated. I've made them cry, I make them laugh.

My post today however, isn't about my sisters as a whole. It's only about one. My Twin... who is not my twin, but really is. If you been a fan of the page, or this poorly maintained blog of mine then you've heard me refer to "My Twin". My Twin is my slightly younger, step sister. (Five months, six days) for those keeping track.

Today is her birthday, days our family really doesn't really go out the way to celebrate. It's usually a card, a phone call or an occasional dinner. But typically it's a hooray for you, shut up and eat your cake or drink your booze kinda day.

My princess crown is bigger, but you get the gist of what I'm saying 


Anyway.... like most step siblings... she and I were not always the best of friends. Throughout 5th - 11th grade we ran in different cliques. She was the All-American girl. Sweet, pretty and somewhat ALWAYS demure. I was no none of those things. I was short, awkward, and a nerd who never fit in with any crowd until about high school when I eventually grew and people were like "There you are. How've you been?" 

I suspect however that if it hadn't been for her... my adolescent years would have been worse than they were with more bullying and such. Boys liked my sister and even a teenage boy knows not to mess with the nerdy brother of the girl he'd like to make out with.

It was during this time that our relationship while not enemies, wasn't what it is now. She largely ignored my comings and goings; and I likewise with her. Most of conversations went something like this... (out of earshot from our parents of course)

Twin: Stop being such a dork. I'm tired of being embarrassed by you.
Munch: F**& you.

Our only commonality in those days was explaining to dipshits the concept of why were in the same grade and didn't share a birthday.

That however was soon to change...

The summer before our Senior year in High School, just as I was becoming semi-quasi cool and things we're going better for us all, we moved from Wyoming back to Ohio. My Dad had left his job as a Deputy Sheriff and had gained new employment in Columbus, OH; where we were originally from. It was painful for my sister and I. You grow up with your friends, dream about graduation, and look forward to what will be the best year ever; only to find out that it's not what fate has in mind for you. While painful, I have to look back and say I'm grateful that it happened, as My Twin and I probably wouldn't enjoy the relationship we do today if it hadn't.

And so really begins the story... moving back was hard. It involved a large pay cut for Mom and Dad. As such, we all contributed to the household income and chores. More so than we already did due to everyone's work schedules. My sister and I gave 50% of our meager income to my parents to assist with household bills.

Moving our Senior year also involved another challenge... making new friends. Most of us know or have heard how hard it is to make friends for a new kid. I can tell you its only worse when you're a Senior AND you're a new kid. Cliques have already been formed and friendships set... simply put, we were the weird kids from Wyoming who are in the same grade but weren't Twins. Now while I was use to being an outsider... my sister was not. She was also dealing with the loss of her High School Sweetheart. (D-R-A-M-A... YOU HEAR ME PEOPLE?)


While we both managed to make friends... they weren't the same kind of relationships we'd had with our old friends in Wyoming. What it did, was to force us to talk to each other and really get to know the other. We went out together a lot. To movies, to putt-putt, to the mall.... sometimes just us and other times with a group of kids from school. Our trust was in each other and not many others. To cap it off around this time, our parents (technically my Mom and her Dad) were having problems. Looking back now... after being married myself, I understand a lot better than I did then what was causing the problems in the marriage. The only reason I bring that up, was how it affected Twin and I. We were both scarred... for them and for us. We generally only had each other. Cool Ass Big Sis was around, but she was in college. She worked a lot as well and didn't live with us. Being forced apart would have been detrimental to Twin and I both, as we were each other's support system. In the end however, Mom and Dad stayed together. Crisis avoided and a lesson learned for each of us about relationships and divorce and kids.

After High School, I left for the Marine Corps and Twin went on to College. It was hard. I missed the person that had become pretty much my best friend. With that said... life happens and in the absence of our friends, even best ones... we go on to make new ones. She did and I did.

We may not be best-ties anymore and we are both are getting older. We have our own lives and schedules, which keep us busy and often apart. When we do get together though... the friendship hasn't changed much. We're still the friends who were... just more "mature". When I see her number pop up my cell phone I smile. When our families get together, I smile because I know I get to see her. I get giddy meeting her for dinner, drinks and people judging watching or even just for morning coffee, before she goes to her teaching job.

She teaches 6th grade at the Middle School where my son attends and where my daughter will start next year. Obviously she cannot teach my kids, but I find a lot of comfort knowing she is there with them. 

As adults, we no longer get the you're in same grade? Are you twins? Now, it's just the surprise we encounter when parents or students discover we're brother and sister. As always, I'm asked are you twins? I just smile because in all honesty I think we are as close as twins... while we don't have our own secret language, we do have our own uniquely close sibling relationship.

Fate was kind when it choose to move us our Senior year. 

Happy Birthday Twin!!! I Love you!


  1. Sometimes we find best friends in the least likely people...Thanks for sharing this. <3

  2. Thank u Wendy. This is something I've been wanting to write about for awhile. She's pretty cool and all


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