Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Filler... getting back in the Writing Saddle or trying

Disclaimer... there are no revelations or anything super funny in this post. It's mostly just filler to see if I can still tell a story in a humorous way and hold your attention long enough, so if you're bored at the end, don't say you weren't warned.

I'm gonna need you to remove the sand from your vagina...

Doctor's appointments were the staple of the day yesterday. Not for me mind you... I'm as healthy as a horse. This makes it difficult for me to accompany people, because I can be like this guy....

Do you see this glass wall and my
look of condescension?
Appointment one was for Ms. Munch and it was 
scheduled for 1:25... we got back to the room at 1:50 and the doctor strolled in about 2:00. Fortunately however, I realize that shit happens. Doctors can run late for a variety of reasons. It was nice of the nurse to tell us that the doctor was running late when we got back to the room and why. It would have been nicer to hear that however, when we checked in and we were cooling our heels waiting for an extra half hour. I'm talking to you Ms. Receptionist... who takes names; makes copies of drivers' licenses and insurance cards; and generally acts as Gatekeepers. 

Congratulations... it's going to rip you apart

Anyway, we were there to meet with the physician who performed her diastasis / hernia repair two years ago. Our concern obviously being "Hey, you fucked this up... we're gonna need you to fix this. And oh by the way, we don't think it's fair we have to pay for your mistake."

Two things... #1) We're totally still gonna have to pay for it, because #2) it's apparently a new baby alien (diastasis/hernia) as it's not in the same spot, as he so confidently concluded by poking around with his fingers and concluding the new trouble area is 2 centimeters from where where it was at before. Long story short... Ms. Munch has to go back under the knife.

Because I'm the Wizard, bitch!

Appointment two was for Mini, which should have been an easy, peasy visit. Haaaaa.... not so fast my friend. This was his first time meeting the new family doctor, which means a total recitation of family medical history. Seriously, is there a reason I have to do this? I gave you my history at my last appointment and my wife told you hers, at her last appointment. According to science, her and I's kids are gonna have the same history Mr. Wizard.

In addition to that fun, it was the first visit where I got kicked out of the room... wait, what? I guess this is the age where we as parents get kicked out so the doctors can ask all the important questions like: "Are you using drugs? Just don't" and "Are you having sex? Use protection". Hey Doc, the walls are thin... you may want to use your indoor voice, just saying. I also discovered during this visit is that Mini is officially 5'10 and has officially surpassed me height wise. While it's not the end or the world... there is certainly a feeling of sadness.

The Book of Mini. Free for
Amazon Prime members.
As new fathers, we want our sons to grow up to be big and strong. Things that will enable them to protect themselves, protect others and attract a mate. However, when you realize they've grown up physically and there is less time than there was before to teach them all things that you thought there was plenty of time to do so... that's a moment. It's a moment in which I realized that that there is a new chapter due in the Book of Mini. A new chapter in a book that Mini's Mom and I will no longer write alone, but will co-author with him as he navigates being a young adult... until such a time he grows into manhood and writes his own stories.



  1. Good read... I munched on my cheesechex mix and was entertained.. Good job.. You still got it .. :D

  2. Enjoyed the is bittersweet to watch your children grow into their own person. :)



    Watching them grow up sucks, almost as much as having to pay for surgeries that should never need to happen. Grrrr.

  4. You're pretty good at this writing thing. Sorry about Mrs. Munch having to have surgery again. It is rough watching our Mini's grow up. My 12 year old daughter has bigger feet than me & is taller than me. It sucks major donkey balls, but is exciting at the same time.


Leave feedback.... it's the only way I know if you enjoyed what you read.